How to start? That I don't know. I'm 42 years old and my life has consisted of me quitting everything or making plans and not following through or my worst, getting jobs and quitting them. They can be the best paying jobs with amazing future pay raises and either I quit or do too much call offs or no call no show. I honestly don't know why. I'm forever sabotaging myself. Over and over. I'll wake up, not feel like going in and call off. Even if I had time off already for weekends or holidays, etc. If I'm busy on days off, I don't feel like I had enough me time and need one more day for myself.
I don't get it. Each time I get a new job I tell myself this won't happen again and it does. I've done fast food, retail, factories, all quit or fired. And it repeats and repeats and repeats. What makes me happy? Gaming, being online, writing, helping others online fond the positives in their lives. I'm an INFP on the Meyers - Briggs test and it really fits me.
I'd love a job with awesome pay, at least 500 a week but my own hours. I envious of bloggers who have made blogging a full time paid job. Or those on Etsy making tons of money. I don't do it because I don't have anything to write about and I don't know how to make things to sell. I'm kind of too lazy to learn. I think if I don't achieve something immediately, I don't want to wait so I quit.
I need to stop this. I can't break it and I don't know how to break it. It's harder than, "just show up and do it." When I show up I'm starting to dislike it. That's when I'm at the end of my rope and quitting is days away. Once I find something I dislike about a job it wears on me and eats at me until I hit my walk out or call off point. I hate me for this but I haven't the money to get psychological help.. I'm scared. I'm about to get a job paying 13 an hour 50 hours min a week. Will I quit? I'm sure in 3 weeks to 7 months. I usually last 7 months and by that time I'm sitting on warnings, write ups, etc.
I have autoimmune disease now and the only jobs i can do wreck havoc on my body. Doesn't help when bad flares hit and I need a week to recover. I'm scared.
