How to start? That I don't know. I'm 42 years old and my life has consisted of me quitting everything or making plans and not following through or my worst, getting jobs and quitting them. They can be the best paying jobs with amazing future pay raises and either I quit or do too much call offs or no call no show. I honestly don't know why. I'm forever sabotaging myself. Over and over. I'll wake up, not feel like going in and call off. Even if I had time off already for weekends or holidays, etc. If I'm busy on days off, I don't feel like I had enough me time and need one more day for myself.
I don't get it. Each time I get a new job I tell myself this won't happen again and it does. I've done fast food, retail, factories, all quit or fired. And it repeats and repeats and repeats. What makes me happy? Gaming, being online, writing, helping others online fond the positives in their lives. I'm an INFP on the Meyers - Briggs test and it really fits me.
I'd love a job with awesome pay, at least 500 a week but my own hours. I envious of bloggers who have made blogging a full time paid job. Or those on Etsy making tons of money. I don't do it because I don't have anything to write about and I don't know how to make things to sell. I'm kind of too lazy to learn. I think if I don't achieve something immediately, I don't want to wait so I quit.
I need to stop this. I can't break it and I don't know how to break it. It's harder than, "just show up and do it." When I show up I'm starting to dislike it. That's when I'm at the end of my rope and quitting is days away. Once I find something I dislike about a job it wears on me and eats at me until I hit my walk out or call off point. I hate me for this but I haven't the money to get psychological help.. I'm scared. I'm about to get a job paying 13 an hour 50 hours min a week. Will I quit? I'm sure in 3 weeks to 7 months. I usually last 7 months and by that time I'm sitting on warnings, write ups, etc.
I have autoimmune disease now and the only jobs i can do wreck havoc on my body. Doesn't help when bad flares hit and I need a week to recover. I'm scared.
Sunday, August 9, 2015
Monday, September 6, 2010
September 7th, 2010
Well here we go.
I have given up fast food fully. Used to eat it all the time. Yup. Sat on my butt and did NOTHING. Well, I worked at a fast food place as a shift manager but really, running around there is not true exercise. Hehe. Not at all.
So I gave up eating red meat around roughly a month ago. Every time I'd eat it, I'd be on the ground screaming in pain with hot sweats and the WORST GI pain you could imagine. Figured I was allergic. Had that for about 4 years now and finally got tired of the pain. (To be brutally honest, I ate a burger home made a few days back and was surprisingly fine. Maybe I can eat it - but not every day and NOT fast food beef). I'll stick with red meat once or twice a month.
I used to drink a ton of soda too. All the time. A case gone in 2 to 3 days. Constantly. Gave that up too and just enjoy a can very now and then. Mainly it's vitamin water and lightly sweetened sweet tea.
I'm eating things like fish and chicken breast. Starting to incorporate veggies too. As for full exercising, I can't start that until I get my own home soon in a few weeks here God willing. I'm rooming with my son right now and that's not good to do exercising like that, haha. I'm too self conscious to be jumping around in front of him.
Well, I weighed in at 175 all day. Was 180 up to a week ago so something is working. I have NOT gone above 180 so that's good. I don't want to go higher at all.
I have given up fast food fully. Used to eat it all the time. Yup. Sat on my butt and did NOTHING. Well, I worked at a fast food place as a shift manager but really, running around there is not true exercise. Hehe. Not at all.
So I gave up eating red meat around roughly a month ago. Every time I'd eat it, I'd be on the ground screaming in pain with hot sweats and the WORST GI pain you could imagine. Figured I was allergic. Had that for about 4 years now and finally got tired of the pain. (To be brutally honest, I ate a burger home made a few days back and was surprisingly fine. Maybe I can eat it - but not every day and NOT fast food beef). I'll stick with red meat once or twice a month.
I used to drink a ton of soda too. All the time. A case gone in 2 to 3 days. Constantly. Gave that up too and just enjoy a can very now and then. Mainly it's vitamin water and lightly sweetened sweet tea.
I'm eating things like fish and chicken breast. Starting to incorporate veggies too. As for full exercising, I can't start that until I get my own home soon in a few weeks here God willing. I'm rooming with my son right now and that's not good to do exercising like that, haha. I'm too self conscious to be jumping around in front of him.
Well, I weighed in at 175 all day. Was 180 up to a week ago so something is working. I have NOT gone above 180 so that's good. I don't want to go higher at all.
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